A timing test

Boundaries Without a Fight

You're probably not bad at boundaries. You're bad at believing they'll land — so you say nothing, and then you say everything, three weeks too late.

Twelve questions about when you speak up, not whether you should.

The 12 questions

1. When something first bothers you, how long before you mention it?
2. How much do you rehearse it beforehand?
3. When you do say it, what's your tone like?
4. How many things come out at once?
5. Do you know where your limit is before you reach it?
6. How often do you agree to things you didn't want?
7. What do you expect to happen when you state a limit?
8. Where did you learn what happens when you say no?
9. Do you explain and justify when you say no?
10. What happens after you've stated one?
11. Do the same issues keep coming back around?
12. Gut check — what stops you saying it early?

Answer all 12 and you get a scored read: what the answers add up to, what it means, and the three that decided it. One payment, nothing renews.